15 év igaz baratsag mint tűz és vìz.
I don’t know why I crave to be sad. Maybe it’s my childhood or the fact that no one ever stays. I took this picture exactly 1 year ago on the first day of the worst part of my life but at least I knew somethig was happening to me. Something that I could be bitching about. I actually have a pretty good life right now - I have the greatest friends I have a healthy and loving relationship I earn over 200k I do have the possibility to study I have my own place to stay but how many times have I said “I want my old life back I want 2017 back” in the past few weeks? No idea. More than a hundred.90% of the time I am GLORIOUSLY HAPPY but then something kicks in from nowhere and I end up crying in the kitchen at 2am. Maybe this is why when I look at this photo which is not even a good one but has a story I think about that part of the year that part of my life as one of the best times. I remember this exact moment sitting on a bench with my ex-best friend -we literally haven’t talked for 7 months I guess...sometimes I miss her or I don’t know- I thought that was the end but I’m here now. I can’t accept my own happiness because nothing lasts forever and this is why I sometimes want to go back to something really really tragic. I constantly feel like I am the most annoying person and I am bothering my friends because when I get sad I can’t tell what’s wrong. It’s just wrong. Maybe I’m wrong. You know when you want to talk about something so bad but you feel like you’ve already talked about it too much so you just hold it. Well I don’t even know what I want to talk about I just want to talk. I surely can’t run away from my thoughts but tell myself they are only in my head. I worry about things that don’t even exist or will not ever happen. I have to be sad and anxious to function properly I don’t know. Maybe I can’t let myself be too happy because I always expect something bad to happen. I can’t let others love me and let myself love back too much because I always expect them to leave at some point. This must be it.
Last day in beautiful Budapest! The Parliament House. #budapest #hungary #visitbudapest #theparliament #parliament #parliamenthouse #skyline #light #realestatenewtonma #realestatema #RELOCATINGTOGREATERBOSTON #osnatlevyteam #osnatlevy @relocating_to_greater_boston #osnatlevyteam #relocatingtogreaterboston #theparliament #osnatlevy #realestatenewtonma #realestatema #hungary #visitbudapest #parliamenthouse #light #skyline #budapest #parliament